10 WEEKS OUT
10 weeks and 6 days to go, not that I'm counting!!
So what has this week been like? Training getting back to normal and I can now use my left hand. Had to adapt a few exercises but still got my strength, which I was quite surprised. I had my meal plan changed and no mashed potato at dinner time anymore. Interestingly, my sleep pattern was disturbed due to this, as I definitely need carbs to help me rest. It is what it is though and I just have to fight the battle at 3am when I'm standing staring in the fridge!!
My anxiety is a little higher than normal. I hate it. I grind my teeth at nighttime, I have butterflies in my tummy and I just feel agitated. I'm very much a planner and this goal to go to Las Vegas has really thrown me. To be honest, I just don't have the funds to follow my dream. I lie awake, playing around with maths and where I can get the money from! I never ever rely on our family money as this is MY hobby. The plan originally was for my husband and I to go together. He now can't get leave. Then my buddy, fellow competitor, was going to join me and compete too. Due to circumstances, she isn't coming. So, do I go by myself? Do I just book my flight and hope the rest of the money I can get by then? I just don't know. This is effecting my training as I consistently ask myself "why am I doing this?"
That all being said, I signed up for IFBB Bendigo Classic and have got cheap flights and accommodation. I will not let myself down by half heartedly doing this. I need to stick with what I set out to do. People at my gym are rooting for me and I can't let them down either. They show me so much support.
So here to battle through another week. I have to dig deeper than ever before. I got this.